I Had Good Energies

OH MY WORLD!!!! Are we actually seeing the light at the end of the tunnel? Should I be whispering this? I don’t want the world to hear me or at least Mother Nature since there’s this little voice in my head telling me that if I say it too loud… it might disappear. After taxes this year, me and my fiancé has recalculated that we might actually be ok. We might actually be able to make it month to month without counting every single penny we have to find ways to live day to day. Seriously! This is a major deal! I can’t count how many times we’ve had to rob Peter to pay Paul and let Silvia wait till next month. I can’t count how many times we’ve had to sit and pray that we weren’t going to lose the house or sit in the dark for not being able to pay once again. When you have kids you have to make decisions that you may not like or agree with, but need to be done regardless. Children need food and clothes all the time. So, when it’s a choice to feed your kids for days or pay on your electric, you really have to sit back and let things take their place. What’s meant to be will definitely be. We can practice all day long for what we want, but in the end when work our butts off to make things happen the way we want or feel comfortable… what’s meant to be will be.

So, now that we have that established, all I have to say it plans and more plans for what we can finally do with our boys after the day of catching up is done.

Season of the sniffles is finally here and our so-called winter has arrived comfortably. I guess I’d rather the sniffles with freezing temps and barely any snow than the exact opposite. We switched over to Pellet stove this year for heating and boy what a cost difference. I will tell ya for the most part, it has been a much easier winter this year. We also began investing in a snow blower last summer and now I get to finish paying it off at tax time and we get to keep it for the rest of the so-called winter. The funny thing is, we actually prepared this year for a killer winter and so far, it’s not. Again, I am not complaining by any standard, but it was kind of a bother that we spend all this money and time preparing for a killer winter and then all of a sudden it’s a hop skip and a jump from what we hope will be a gorgeous summer. The boys plan on playing baseball again this year and that will be an awesome thing to actually sit and enjoy them playing in the sun. My weebit will actually get to play on a real team this year and he’s super excited. I also plan on getting their sports bags this year for their gear. There’s so much to buy and look forward to when you have children growing in school. You want them to be able to do everything their little heart’s desire and all of it gets real expensive real quick.

There’s this essay thing for kids to talk about Equality in Michigan and how it affects you and I asked my kids to write an essay or a letter about this for this project. I’m excited to see what they have to say. I am an advocate for Equality in every way that I can possibly be one. I have written the book, “Secrets of the Velvet Closet: A memoir “, which boasts a story about a little girl who just wants equality in the end. I have been a part of many blogs, movements, discussions, and so many voting opportunities for equality issues to teach and speak for those who can’t. To have my children be a part of something this big and meaningful by their own want is tremendous.  Even if it’s only a couple sentences from the youngest one, it’s still a big deal to place your opinions and beliefs down on a piece of paper for the world to see as a child.

I’ve recently discovered another mental issue in the family as well. Nothing too uncommon fortunately this time, but it’s been diagnosed at Oppositional Defiance Disorder for my youngest Weebit. More or less he needs blood pressure medicine called Tenex. We did everything we could to avoid the Clonidine since it causes heart issues and has been known to be long term unsuccessful. My lady was kind enough to inform me that there was another little boy in her life that had been put on it and they ended up with all kinds of issues in and out of the hospital and sleeping. So in all efforts to avoid this we all decided he was to be tried on Tenex. Talk about a changed child! He’s not “mad” anymore as he says it. He had some serious anger issues and just didn’t know what to do with them. We have him in counseling and unfortunately that alone has not worked. He has broken toys, smashed electronics, torn holes in walls, and so many more things. This child is the friendliest most outgoing highly intelligent child crazy, but for some reason we couldn’t get him to control his temper. The sad part is anything could set him off. Recently he was watching a commercial that had a father and son and he just went off and started throwing things and saying things like, “I hate everyone” and “I want to die” and many other vulgar things. This child is getting real good at throwing himself down the stairs, destroying walls, swearing, and countless other things. The good thing is this only lasts about 20 minutes usually. After he calms down and gets all his anger and frustration out, he’s a perfect angel. He’s loving and helpful and playful and fun. So getting him on this medicine will be interesting for a change.

On a lighter note I have recently learned that a TRUE Bipolar person cannot take anti-anxiety medicine. It will have the opposite effect that it is supposed to. So if you give a TRUE Bipolar these meds their manic episodes can’t keep up with what the medicine is supposed to be doing and they end up even having more problems than what they started with. I will tell you however if you have phobias or any type of Empathic issues or gifts, then Anxiety medication would do great for you. I have some of the most extreme phobias out there and the reactions of which have actually put me in the hospital due to a childhood incident that was out of my control. My current condition is being treated with Anxiety meds and let me tell you, it’s a miracle! It’s so awesome not being afraid of life anymore. Granted it’s definitely not perfect by any standard; however I am able to handle things in a much more uniform fashion than what I could before. Working with a hundred some customers a day, you can’t control what they say or wear and you can’t let it stop you from doing your job. So when I say it was a huge deal I do mean it was HUGE!!! Much more of a friendly atmosphere when everyone is on meds LMAO!!!

BTW, I have recently been invited to send a copy of my book to a New York digital magazine for possible review or feature. I sent a tweet to someone and they actually responded and told me to go ahead and send the book to them and we will discuss the rest. That would be totally awesome!! To have a part of a New York magazine with my book in it would be a mere miracle. Not that I’m keeping my hopes up, but I had good energies on it… does that count?