With each passing moment that goes by, I sit back and wonder how all of this happened. I wonder how I got four beautiful children whom I’m very proud of. I wonder how I got a wonderful father figure who though is a huge pain in the ass, became the best dad I could have ever asked for. I wonder how I got the be the luckiest woman in the world with the most gorgeous woman who could ever be by my side. I wonder how I got so lucky to have so many wonderful fur children whom I love and adore and greet me with purring and wagging tails every chance they get. I wonder so many of these things so many times a day. It’s quite the circumstance to sit back and see how many years have passed that you swear were just right there by your side.
I see my little men growing up with their sports, girls, video games, pets, and favorites of everything that seem to change every week. This is cool or that is awesome. This is what I want or that is what I need. I saw this on TV or I heard this on the radio. I’m getting spelling corrections by my youngest, movie character corrections by my oldest, and cooking directions by the ones in between. I have a little girl who has become a young woman and is growing so fast, I almost miss her coming to steal my clothes out of my closet. I can still hear the begging to allow her to wear my cute little shirts and the very well fitting pants. I remember when she stole my dress to wear to her church function to look good for the event and it was huge on her, but she made it work.
We still get our movie nights together whether it be 8PM or 11PM at night that we get started. We watch anything from Ru Paul to tattoo nightmares to the latest Disney movie. Those moments though very small and few mean the world to our family and it’s a time where we can laugh together or feel the intensity of the tear coming from the person in drag. We get to see together about the life that exists on the television at that point in time. When the kids have questions, we can very well answer whatever they are asking about. Sure there are some times that we can’t or won’t answer what it is that they are asking, but for the most part we are very open to their motions of inquisitive love.
Every now and then we get to do something real special and we get to go to the special place like a swim park, camping, or even to a holiday parade. We each have our rules and we discuss what we can and can not do. The last one I remember was Monster Trucks. We all sat and watched the trucks attack the cars like they were nothing. They jumped and roared and squealed and the crowd screamed and we had a blast. It was quite the moment when we realize a man had set himself on fire in real life and survived in front of us. I was intensely satisfied with my children’s happiness and huge smiles of amazement. This is something that we went around and took pictures with all the drivers and the vehicle crash artists. We took our time and got signatures on all of our flags, t-shirts, posters, and whatever we could get our little hands on to get another smile.
This was only one of the amazing times that we all spent together and had a great time. These moments will be less and less as they get older. We both are aware of that. We understand our job is to teach our children to be independent and smart, but at the same time watching them not need us anymore for some things almost hurts. We understand this is life and this is what parenting is all about. We understand that our children will have to grow up and some day move out on their own. Letting our oldest children ride their bikes to school, was such a stomach wrenching moment that the complete shock of the question kept me sitting in my chair for fear of fainting. Hearing my children have their own lives and friends and need their own space is so hard to believe since every mother and father know their children… their babies… will need them forever.
When it comes down to it, what does all this mean? It means we are parents who love our children just like any else who have children they love. It means we try to spend time with our kids enough to keep them in the idea that they will have good memories as they get older. This means we as mothers embrace every moment we get with our children with or with out fur. We sacrifice what is needed for us so that our children have what is needed for them. We have gone days with out eating real meals so that our children would have good meals to eat. We have gone with out paying bills for months so that our children would have the clothes they needed to wear to school. We’ve let our shoes gather holes, our hair get gray and stringy, and our meals come down to chips and cheese so that our children had their school supplies, medicine, clothes, and special toys or books for good deeds. We have even kept an allowance going for our children whom deserve it for all the hard work they have done to keep their rooms clean, school work done, and chores complete.
You really don’t know how far you will go for a person until you become a parent. It doesn’t matter if you are a female parent, a male parent, a gay parent, a lesbian parent, a transsexual parent, or a bisexual parent. If you are a parent and you take care of your children in the same depth and amount of love that I just described, then how does it matter whom you are with? To us none of this matters and that is why we are going to continue being happy and taking care of our children the only way we know how… with all our heart.
So when we get married next year, we will begin a whole new world of adventures and excitement that neither of us knew could even exist. We will start a single moment of glory with a single kiss and continue it for years to come with our children watching them grow and become adult men and women with our own interests finally slowing coming into play. Maybe at that point will we worry about what we want and what we are going to do for us. Maybe at the point the world can look at us and point and stare and start their judgement of how lesbians can be good parents. What we are going to care about and continue to care about is our children, our family, and the time we will continue to have together. What’s so wrong with that?