New start to a new beginning and all I can think to my self if really? Is it true? Is my dream come true finally here? Can I finally take my walls down and allow all emotion and activity in my heart and soul to take place as time and patience has begged to allow? What kind of trust does it take to really dig down deep and know the fight to have someone real and honest and entirely in line for you and only you? Her smile helps forgive every gloomy day. Her voice calms my anxieties as I allow her laughter to fill my heart. I love how tingly she still makes me feel. I love how complete I’ve realized I’ve become. I love how everything is team work and takes two and begins only when we are READY. The divorce is finally clean and clear and complete. Not that there is regret to having that particular marriage. I learned and we both gained a lot in our years we were actually together, but as friends always do… it was time to move on. So, now the real beginning is here. The real reason I’ve been sitting back praying that one day my day would come and I could finally be happy. I’m so excited that I get to marry the woman of my dreams. She the most perfect love of my life I could ever ask for and honestly she was more than worth the wait in my 15 or so years of prayer. As time nears further exploration into our depths of our relationship, I stand back and notice people that we thought we knew were there for us, are pushing us away. There are people closing down from us. There are people judging us that we didn’t do it the way they would have wanted. There are family members that all of a sudden have an “opinion”. Sure we have our ears open and keep our minds perked for the right situations to occur, but honestly we know what we want. We are so ready to fight for what we know we has a family deserve. Our four children are fighting every day of their lives to show how normal our family is and will always be. The continue to make friends, play sports, go to school, and grow to be their own independent selves while living in a world full of judgement and hatred only recognizing the love and understanding they wait for.
We count our friends in our circles everyday and either watch the number go down or pretend we can get them to go up. I’ve given up trying to make numbers exist that won’t or never have. I’m tired of impressing those who impressions shouldn’t count. I’m over making sense of things that don’t make sense. I’m ready to take the next step and move on from caring what every one else thinks or says. I’m ready to raise our beautiful kids the way we feel works and I’m ready to finally fully plan and take every moment to really feel what it is to have a true wedding to the one person I can honestly say I know is my true soul mate!!!
We don’t have a date set, nor are we trying to push that. We are however paying attention to the supreme court to see when the state of MICHIGAN will finally let us be who we’ve always been. It doesn’t take a piece of paper to complete a bond that was created by just a glance out side of a subway restaurant, but the connection that occurred when the tattoos were placed was unexpected and only caused a stronger connection between us that we have yet to take advantage of or take for granted.