… He’d Be The Perfect “flower girl”…

It’s been so many years since I’ve driven in a snow storm that I honestly forgot what a refreshing rush it was. Just tapping the gas pedal bits and bits at a time, watching all these so-called good drivers cut people off and being in a rush to get to the same place we are all going. It’s all very interesting when you sit back and realize how ridiculous this all is. We all know that certain time of year, that we need to get snow tires, better windshield wipers, good fluid for our windshields, good brakes, shovels, hats, gloves, coats, and so many more things to just survive the winter. In fact I would almost believe that winter is one of the largest profit seasons of the year in Northern Michigan. We have so much we have to buy and pay attention to that it almost takes us all year to hurry up and save to survive winter, let alone live in it comfortably. With an AWD Envoy we don’t have to worry so much about things in the winter. In fact the way my lady said it to me so delicately was: “I’m not worried about your driving love, I’m worried about everyone else’s”. What a beautiful way to not piss me off. Lol.

So I’m driving a long and in a five mile stretch, I encounter two wrecks and three really crazy drivers. Again I’m granny driving about 10 maybe 15 miles per hour in a 35. Good thing I was however; since I was cut off by these three crazy drivers and had to wait for a fire engine to turn around in the road for a wreck to get through. I’m pretty sure I hit every stop light there was for the first time in years. The huge 15 bags of pellets in the back of the vehicle gave me a fun fish tail here and there when I had to get the gas pedal to work right at each of the stop lights as well. The best part of all of this? I was safe and sound and taking my sweet time to get to work on a day where everyone was rushing, running lights, and cutting people off left and right. Love my Envoy! Did I mention I had heated seated and the “Rock Station” playing during all of this? Something about the power a 5’5” person can feel in a AWD Envoy with all the bells and whistles. It was such a rush!

Then as coincidence would have it, I was just about to text my lovely Violet and let her know I made it to work and Viola… she’s calling me in freak out mode. Awe!! My lovely lady cares so much!!!

It just so happens that Michigan is still going through this April Deboer case and trying to figure out its side on Marriage Equality and Same-Sex Adoption issues and it just so happens that my tribe LTBB has excepted Same Sex Marriages. What a wonderful thing right? Now we can get married and be happy ever after? Ok, so what about the children that we have whom their fathers have decided not to have anything to do with them? Sure the courts are pulling child support whenever it’s available, but what about the love and recognition of family tie? What about the child having some type of occurrence in their life proving that the other parent loves them and wants them in their life how little it may be? What about the false promises from these fathers and all the shame and self-ridicule these children have to go through everyday ? That doesn’t matter! Nope, at this point in time by state law if something were to happen to either my partner or I, their bloodline fathers would get them no matter what. At this point in time by state law, it is said to be more intelligent and suffice to have the children go back to their natural born fathers whom have either wronged them with no court to prove, have no contact or knowledge of them for at least 2 years, or plainly have money pulled from their check for the child unwillingly then it is for them to stay with the mother’s they’ve come accustomed to being raised by.

Why is this? State law says it’s safer and statistically smarter for a child to be raised by both a male and a female parent and if one parent of a heterosexual couple can’t care for the child, regardless of the status of the other parent if they are paying child support in any fashion or haven’t had their rights revoked then the other same sex parent cannot take over the child. This doesn’t matter if the other parent is intelligent, stable, safe, caring, able to support, or even if they’ve taken care of the child since they were born. Why hasn’t this law changed yet? Why has the state of Michigan realized that not all households with children are the “Brady Bunch” type with both mother and father and growing up all together happily going to that five session of church every Sunday? Why can’t Michigan realize that some households are perfectly happy with their same sex relationships that some have been in since they were teenagers? What’s so wrong with these children growing up with A’s and B’s with the same food, toys, clothes, sports, and relationships as those with both sexes for parents? What’s so wrong with these same sex couple’s having the same rights and privileges as those in a heterosexual relationship? Who’s to say the state of Michigan should be able to judge whether or not a set of parent male or female are right for taking care of a child? If all the basics are met and the children have food, clothes, education, social time, love, and attention then why would it matter who’s giving it to them? Why does the state say these other parents who clearly don’t want anything to do with their children should have any rights over their child when the one who’s been raising them for so many years clearly has their stuff together enough to continue the proper care of a child they’ve taken on with their same sex relationship?

So how do you throw the perfect wedding for a Nascar lover? How about a wolf lover? Purple and black or Purple and Teal? Dress or no dress? Bride’s Maid and Groom or not? I told my little weebit I might make him a little flower girl for our wedding and he turned so RED! It was so adorable. He’s a girl of some type for every Halloween and loves to dress up in make-up and shoes and skirts. He’s what you  would say GenderQueer. He really doesn’t believe the physical appearance should have anything to do with the difference between a girl and a boy. He’s been this way as long as I could remember. His father used to tell him of all the times he dressed up in dresses as well. He loves watching RuPaul with some censorship of course. I remember when he was just learning to color and he insisted on coloring this little boy pink. I didn’t correct it. Then as years continued, I saw him wanting to wear skirts and girly shirts. Mind you, this boy loves cars and trucks and wrestling and has a girlfriend already. His masculinity isn’t questioned at all. I tried at that time to correct him as to what he was “supposed” to wear, but he fought and fought. So finally during Halloween I broke. He loves it so much! He’s still trying to fight me to let him wear a dress or skirt during the school year as well, but I’m not ready to fight the school on that.

I’ve been told recently that the schools were told to call CPS during any suspicion of neglect or abuse and letting a little boy wear a dress could be considered “mental abuse” so I rather not take that chance in losing my kids over some stupid opinion. I will tell you however when and if you ever have a phone call to CPS, watch whom you tell them they can call. Also if you have any new people at your children’s school and you have special needs children, expect a phone call to CPS. It must be simpler to call CPS these days than it is to call the parents of a child up at home and say, “I would like to meet with you”. How hard is it to talk to each other directly these days? I think it would seriously give the schools a much better relationship with parents. The biggest complaint with schools that I’ve received is “parents don’t seem to care that much about their children”. Well, how can we show we care if they don’t seem to show they care about our children? Caring is more than just making a phone call to CPS when a child says something wrong. It’s more than just jumping to the assumption when a child shows up with bruises or cuts that their parents are beating the crap out of them. It’s about a phone call home to ask some questions or a parent teacher conference to infer about the situation. It’s so irritating anymore that there are so many real abusive situations out there and those of us who are busting our butts with over 40 hours a week are too rich for health care, too poor to afford food, and too weak to spend time with our children so we barter for child care and buy our kids whatever candy we can to make up for it with lots of apologies. Again, keep in mind this is child abuse or neglect. Right?

So back to the wedding…. Hmmm… little seven year old boy who looks about 5 years old dresses up to be the little flower girl? LOL!!!! He was so cute when I said that… he turned beat faced red and couldn’t stop smiling and laughing. Almost as if he was excited but ashamed to be excited. So this little boy who loves to do both girl things and boys things has a cute little girlfriend whom he’s known for 3 years. It’s so adorable, but she’s taller than him and loves him to death. His classmates just asked him lately if he was dating her and he told me he was so embarrassed when they asked him that. I asked him why and he said, “because I’m too young to date anyone but I do like her a lot”. I told him dating means when you go to dinner with someone or a movie and it’s usually when you are old enough to be on your own. So I told him not to worry about that question since it’s not possible. He just smiled at me and said, “I know but it would be nice”. He’s a ninja turtle loving, video game playing, computer hacking, genderqueer cutie and if we decide he’d be the perfect “flower girl” then so be it.