Ever have a dream so vivid and so real that you actually had to convince yourself that it was JUST a dream when you woke up? If you had to run, you wake up out of breath. If you were crying, you wake up with blood-shot eyes that are watering. If you were laughing, your stomach hurts from laughing so hard. You are supposed to forget your dreams when you wake up right? Not sure of the people’s faces anymore, not sure of the music, not sure of the location, or whatever else happened in the dream. Aren’t you supposed to be able to move on from a dream? Not have it play back and forth in your head over and over again until it makes you sick to your stomach? Why am I having this dream? Why would I dream such a distasteful mess? This dream was not only a nightmare, but it was completely and totally uncalled for!!!
Ok, what dream you ask? It’s completely out of the question and just stupid all the way around, but it was real and that’s what bothered me. Here it goes! I dreamed my lovely lady gave a naked back massage to another woman and I walked in on it. Then she went and got high with this person. When I asked her why she did it, she claimed she should have taken the kids to the library instead and she was sorry. Then she told me her back hurt and she couldn’t give her a good enough massage with her clothes on. WTF??? My girl doesn’t cheat, never thought of it, and has no reason to that I know of. So why would I have this dream? Usually if I can imagine something or dream it, it’s very possible or will become real one way or another. Here’s how I handled it in my dream. I went to jump into a very steaming hot shower and she thought she was going to hop in as well like nothing happened and give me loveyz. Wow!!! Then to top it all off when I wake up, my lovely is on the other side of the bed turned on her side. Wow!!!
Ok so what does all this mean? Not a damn thing most would say, but unfortunately I’ve learned to pay attention to my dreams as a message from someone somewhere. Do I think she’s going to end up giving some Blondie a naked back rub and go get high with her? No of course not, but I do feel lately that I’m not good enough for her. I just have this overall blah feeling and the fact that she has been trying to lose weight and (she says) not succeeding doesn’t help either. All that un-confidence she has is just blowing up at me and any time I try to show her otherwise that she’s gorgeous and sexy and I love every curve she’s got… I get attitude or whatever statements. So maybe this dream or nightmare was giving me a sense of what things would be like if I kept allowing her confidence to go down? Maybe it was me showing me that I was not good enough for her? Maybe it was my little brain feeling someone’s energies somewhere and I just familiarized it with my own surroundings to make a picture out of it for a dream?
In any case I don’t know why I had the dream, she even stated there’s no one she knows at the bar that even fits that description or would even catch her interest. The sad part is I know she’s not looking or interested in someone else. I know she’s not secretly getting off work early and taking off or flirting endlessly with some guy or chick waiting to get it on in the back of the car. I know these things aren’t there, so why would I have this dream? When I dreamed my X was prego a few months back… I was like yeah right he said he didn’t want another child… then viola.. minds change so easily and come to find out they are prego. Good for them in all aspects! I wish the best for them, but what kills me is I dreamt it. I don’t get it. Why would I dream something that has nothing to do with me? I’m not in their life really at all. I went from phone calls and texts to barely a conversation at their job if I’m lucky enough to catch them. So why would I dream this wonderful news that she was prego? I don’t know and that’s my problem.
I get it! If you don’t please your partner and do what you can to make them happy then the saying goes… they will find someone who will. Here’s the thing though. I know I please my partner more than well enough (when I get to). We have this awesome relationship that we make sure each other is happy regardless of the circumstance and we talk about everything no matter how bad or good it is. So that’s not a problem that I know of. In fact I pride myself in having so much passion for my lady that I can take a few seconds or several hours and bring her to all the satisfaction she needs or wants. Not something either of us can say has been common in our past.
So once again, why the dream? They say dreams mean something depending on colors, place, music, people, objects and so forth. I haven’t looked It up at this point, but if I looked it up… wouldn’t that be an immediate assumption that something is wrong? I mean if you start studying something, doesn’t that mean you are expecting to learn something out of what you are looking up? What would I be learning? Would I just have more knowledge about dreams or have more reason to dig a hole deep enough for me to get lost in that doesn’t need to be dug? Almost like making something out of nothing. I would like to know what about this dream is stuck with me so strongly. I would like to know why I felt such unsure negativity coming from my lovely lady today and last night. What could be going on?
I wouldn’t worry about any of this except I have this wonderful gift of being an empathy. So I’m learning when I have such strong energies it’s from something or someone somewhere that is revealing a circumstance or action. The sad part is it’s not always to do with me. I don’t know why I have this capability, but it’s very strong and getting stronger through out my age. I love the ability to help people, but besides that it’s almost torture not knowing why I have the visions and energies that I do. My lovely lady has been getting used to it being with me, but sometimes I feel things that end up being the wrong direction. For instance; I will feel happy about something and yet it will be a very sad situation. I really don’t understand why this is happening in a dream if that’s what’s happening. Again, I don’t want to assume anything but I would like to know why it’s hitting me so hard.
Maybe it’s all in the making of the dream. I felt her move away from me in the middle of the night and sad but true… I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t sleep at all if she’s not near me unless I happen to pass out from exhaustion or too much Don Q or Twisted Tea. Maybe I should go back to my wine. I used to drink wine on stressful days that I felt were just too much. Am I sounding like my mother again? Drinking to make it all better? Well, you’re wrong haha! I wouldn’t drinking to make it all better, I would be drinking to feel relaxed so I could be better. So that’s the difference. Which if you ask me is quite the difference right? Well, anyway I’m rambling again.
My book is in the hands of some proof readers who thankfully are paying close attention to the names and details so I can make sure I have a well done book. I have submitted the first three chapters off to a few publishers already trying to gain the attention of somebody. I have been told so far that the book grabs on to you quickly, but can lose a bit of your interest in the second chapter. I figure if it’s 10 chapters long and they’ve made it to the 4th chapter… it can’t be too boring. I know I had a lot to say in that book, but with the lovely support of my family, friends, and coworkers…. It’s been an awesome journey over all.
I guess I’m a tad bit pathetic. I get all fluttery and fluffy when I pick up the phone and it’s my lovely Violet on the other end. I forget how to speak and all of a sudden all my angers, frustrations, irritations, or whatever just seems to disappear and for that split second or pure few moments the whole world seems perfect once again. So in all this frustration and hatred of myself to have such dreams or realities in my head… makes me complete float to another dimension almost to free myself of the pain that I’m experiencing even though nothing REAL has happened. I know sounds a bit scientific and a little over done in my book too, but I live it so what do you think is going through my head at this particular point in time?
So how do I forget some vivid visions and go on with me day or life? Well, I suppose I can bury myself in my left over coffee, my chips, my tuna fish, keep writing, or just close my eyes take a deep breath and realize it was just a dream…. Right?
- Thoughts upon waking up (dibellaamanda.wordpress.com)
- Dream Eddie (eddieselover.com)
- we all dream the same dream… (tinitaflint.wordpress.com)
- Dreams reinforce Reality. (fightandwriteblog.wordpress.com)
- Movement 9 – Two Dreams (divineorchestrations.wordpress.com)
- Dreams that Feel Real (plushbeds.com)
- are dreams my silent prayers ? (loveshootingstars.wordpress.com)