OMG!!!! I did it… I did it… I did it!!!! It was unbelievable!!! It was great!!! It was breathtaking!!!!! It was nerve wracking!!!! It made my palms sweat, but it was a good sweat. I had so much emotion going through me that it was like a serious natural high!!! I couldn’t wait to get caught yet, knew I already was by standing right in front of the camera. Not only did I give one lovely wonderful heartfelt kiss to my lovely Violet, I gave her two. I had one simple but meaningful sneak of a peck… then later I took the chance with my heart pounding crazy and walked outside to kiss her goodbye till after work and BAM!!!! There was a customer standing right in our way… so back to the side of the building we went and Muuuuuuaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! She got her wonderful deep heartfelt passionate kiss right on camera live on the internet where my boss could have been watching at that very moment.
I know Michigan isn’t totally ready and protected from all this legality crap to say we can be gay and work or we can be gay and kiss or we can be gay and have our children, but it felt pretty DAMN GREAT to just opening kiss my lady in public and on camera no less. I still can’t believe I did it. It was like it’s better for my boss to “possibly” be watching the work cam than it is for a customer to actively be checked in and see us kiss. I don’t know how that would weigh to you, but it was a severe moving moment for me. I wasn’t ashamed though. I was scared … don’t get me wrong on that! I didn’t have that shaky “What did I do wrong?” feeling that I have in the past. So I don’t know if that means I am slowly moving past the fear or my energies are reading that people are finally getting better and more accepting in Northern Michigan. Here’s the kicker though. The town I live in… isn’t people from Northern Michigan. It’s people from all over the world every day. So technically I would have a reason to be afraid of my job being let go because some customer from Texas, Asia, or Canada decided they were offended by my PDA’s.
Again I’m not talking about tongue slopping, moaning, grabbing her tits and ass (mmmm… sorry lol… happy moment), type of kiss. I’m talking about subtle but cute, deep but small, lips touching enough to send chills down her body and feel her smile come out type of kiss. The one, that someone can glance at and go “awe” and just smile for that happy couple type of kiss. So why would this be a problem in my world? Well, when you deal in customer service it’s all about the good reviews, the happy customers, value for the money, did I mention happy customers, and of course without all of this there’s no revenue which makes for a very unhappy boss and then no job. So when I say I couldn’t believe that I kissed my lovely Violet on camera it was like robbing a bank for a criminal. I got a natural high, I got chills, it felt so good I wanted to walk to another camera and do it again. It’s like waiting for the next cigarette.
I really can’t wait until Michigan has laws protecting people like us from losing our jobs, from discrimination, from all the crap that we have to put up with as soon as we walk out our door. I’m very impressed with how far we’ve come in the last 5 years. I used to have to worry about being fired just by looking a female and some coworker thinking I thought something sexual about it. Did you get that? Thinking I was thinking something sexual, not even knowing just thinking. Then I had a supervisor at the time that took the whole thing to heart and told me to cut it or lose it. So I will say we have come a long way from what we used to be. I am pretty sure all my coworkers know I’m gay and I’m pretty sure each of them don’t care or they enjoy our company just as we are. I’m still not too sure about THE BOSS knowing about my lovely lady and me, since every time I see him and he sees her… there’s this weirdness that comes about in the room. It’s funny though because he’s friendly to her crazy as long as he’s in a good mood, but anymore conversations between us have not had anything to do with me and her being together. He used to ask about my kids and their dad, but now if I mention my kids there’s a quick “good for them” and then surprise he’s busy again. So I’m not sure what to think about that. I have a few people reading my rough draft of my book to review it for me and I have to say … they all better be ok with the LGBTQ community… cause “surprise I’m one of them”.
So, I had a very interesting conversation with my oldest this last week. He told me he loved having two moms, but he misses having a dad. He told me he feels his dad doesn’t really have time for him anymore and when he does once every 4-6 months he doesn’t get any alone time with him. He feels like his lady has to be there every second of every moment to be with them. He said he misses having a dad! I can’t blame the kid. He loves us both and tries his damndest to understand the adult theories of “too busy” or “too poor” or “too tired”, but for the life of him… he can’t get how all that could be true every day of the week for 4-6 months at a time. Then trying to explain to him and the other one that daddy works a lot, but if he works a lot how come he’s too poor to see us? I don’t really have the heart to spell it out to them that he’s got a history of slowly but surely “forgetting” about his kid. I told them it’s hard for a kid to take care of a kid and that’s the only way I could think of to explain it. Kids always come up with the most innocent ways of describing things that we adults just don’t realize how we take certain facts and situations for granted.
I did end up asking my youngest what he would feel if there were another child coming from daddy and to my surprise, he only had to say that if daddy had another baby… he wouldn’t have time for him anymore because he would have to take care of the new baby. I tried crazy to explain that is should be a good thing because he would have another brother/sister to play with and love. His response again was I don’t get to see the sister I have, why would I want another. He also responded he doesn’t get to see his daddy as it is, why would it matter if he had another child? Again, I couldn’t argue with the child and I really didn’t have any extremely intelligent adult responses for him.
On… a more childish note… my lovely boys decided to have a conversation today on how it would be possible to trap a tornado. Now here’s my weebit’s idea… dig a hole in the ground to catch it… put up cement walls around it and on top like a basement. Then all you have to do is cover the holes because rocks aren’t perfect. The oldest one’s argument was you can’t cover the holes cause it would die… it can’t breathe without air and everything needs air to live. . .
Here’s my thought on this… the tornado is the hectic crap of life, the hole in the ground, is a proper foundation to put it all in, the walls built around it are to contain it properly, covering the holes gives it no excuse to get out, and this awesome idea came from a 6 year old boy!!! I’d like to call this, “The Weebit Theory” and now I will be following it…
- I Am a Racist (patwillard.wordpress.com)
- ADDICTED TO KISS HER (She Punched Me In The Summer) (stocki.typepad.com)
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- ‘Please tell me the bad news!’ (speciallygifted.wordpress.com)