A New Beginning to an Old Fairytale

English: Electronic cigarette charger
English: Electronic cigarette charger (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So I’ve recently stopped smoking upon my own decision to try Ecigs. I really didn’t have my health in mind to be honest, it was more my pockets losing money faster and faster. I had to either get cigs or pay for gas. I had to either get cigs or feed myself or family. I had to either get cigs or drink a lot more caffeine to make up for the loss. I totally didn’t understand how much it was to quit smoking until I realized the half a pack I went through in a day was easily attainable from an ecig with less than half the cost. The fun part has been going through the several different types of ecigs to find that one special one to make the quitting worth it. Well, I have my ecig about 3 days before I have to get another one and that’s saving me quite a bit. MMMM… FIN!!!

My lady on the other hand, bless her heart has tried the ecig, but even though she found one with flavor she absolutely adores… she smokes so deeply and so heavily that she downed it in less than a day. So the one that I’m smoking has helped with her cravings, but she’s not doing so well when she’s pissed off or irritated.

I have noticed one thing for myself though; when you quit smoking all kinds of crap comes up from your lungs for like 2-3 weeks. Almost feels like you have bronchitis. I have been coughing out green @#$% crazy!!! I don’t have a temp, I don’t have a sore throat, I did have an abscess tooth but antibiotics took care of that and yet still I am coughing up nasties. It’s kind of weird since I never really smoked heavily and when I did smoke I didn’t do one of these 5 minute inhalation hits that you seen really heavy smokers do. In fact most of the time I didn’t even smoke it entirely since I would forget it was there. So upchuck comes all this crap from my lungs going on two weeks now.

That’s honestly the most annoying part at this point. I have to spit several times a day and that’s just nasty to say let alone do. Then when I take a hit of my ecig it’s like the nicotine is so strong and fresh that it only takes a couple hits to get that “fix” everyone is looking for.

So in my lessons of myself here of quitting smoking, I have also noticed if you take a look and find out what you were smoking for in the first place, you can really figure out how hard it’s going to be to quit and what type of ecig you are going to need. For instance, I smoked for leisure purposes mostly, but sometimes it was more of a medication protocol to keep myself calm in situations. For my lady it’s more of a medication procedure to put herself through to keep from killing anyone and once in a while its leisure. So the stronger higher dosage works for her, but she has to have a smooth taste. She can’t have the harsh hit that you can feel going into your lungs, but she can’t have a tiny tad of nicotine since her hits wouldn’t take much to take all of the ecig.

I must have smooth and medium nicotine with no sweetness, but a little menthol freshness. It’s the nicotine hit that keeps the “fix” under control, but it’s the menthol freshness that makes it last and taste great!!! This has been quite the journey for me!! I really wish my lady could be experiencing it with me, but I understand she needs the nicotine as a medication for her daily life. I never did need it like that, but once in while I caught myself using it that way since I couldn’t just take a good old shot of whiskey.

I don’t drink or smoke in front of the kids. Now the really cool part? I can smoke my ecig anywhere I want pretty much! I take hit while watching TV, while driving in the car, while shopping, while taking a break from work, while laying in bed, and so many other places. The only one I bother with my “smoke” is my cat Booters and my baby girl Destiny. They sniff crazy at it though and keep wondering what that strange smell is. It’s kind of funny actually!!!

So now that I’ve got this far understood, here’s the other part: my kids are watching me going through this and tell me all the time they are proud of me for quitting smoking and lo and behold my boss just told me the same thing. LMAO!!! I almost corrected them and told them I didn’t quit smoking because I still smoke my ecig, but realized that’s not really smoking. Weird!!! I never thought of myself as an OUT LOUD and PROUD quitter of smoking tobacco cigs. I still take the hits, blow the smoke, get the nicotine high, buy them by the pack, and take cig breaks. This is so strange for me. Anyway, in this never-ending mumbo jumbo rant, I just wanted to say I am quitting smoking, but to me I’m not.

The health thing really didn’t concern me since I “once again” never really smoked, but now that I’m coughing up all this nasty crap from my lungs… I can’t wait for my nicotine journey to be over… that way I don’t have to deal with the ashes flying everywhere (that now bug me by the way) and I don’t have to deal with the smell (except with kisses from my loveyz) and I don’t have to deal with the sneaking around my work when all I hear from customers all day is “we don’t smoke.. It’s just disgusting and we don’t like anyone who does”. Wow!!! Talk about harsh!!!! So I’m feeling better in this circumstance.

The other point today I would like to run across today… well it’s a bit of a deeper issue. I was surfing around on FB the other day and I came across some profiles of people I knew in school and used to have as friends on my FB. Now when did they decide I wasn’t friend material? Not directly sure, but here’s the kicker… FB is just like that old popularity contest you used to deal with in HS. The reason I say this? Well when you run across someone who used to be on your friend’s list and they have some 1,487 friends that you actually knew and talked to in HS … and now they have removed you from their friends list. Ok so not a big deal right? Except one simple detail… what could have pissed them off so badly that it was important to remove you (one person) from their 1,487 list of friends on FB that they had to remove you? Then running across some other similar circumstances… you realize this has happened more than a few times.

Really doesn’t take much to bring our little world back into what FAD is in today and what FAD is out. What person is cool today and what person is not. I mean for real? Out of all those people, I was important to be removed why? Well, I guess we all win some and lose some and everyday is a new lesson to be learned. My lovely lady told me they didn’t deserve to know or be a part of such a wonderful beautiful and talented person like me. AWE!!! What a sweetheart!!! Just brings a curiosity to the principal of the fact you know?

So on to the next topic… lost two roommates lately… it’s killing me to see them go and I do miss them both dearly!!! It’s not exactly a wakeup call I was hoping was going to happen for a long time. I do understand why they moved and I understand that it had to happen sooner or later. I guess I should have expected it when I did everything I could to find a man happiness that’s been in full belief that he would die alone! I went totally out of my way and used every amount of energies that I could to make sure this time around I got it right with him and whomever he was going to date. Losing my little girl who’s become a woman… whole different set of emotions. This baby girl I have raised with my ex, my dad, my mother, and my lovely lady for the last 3 years and counting. I’ve taken her to every height of emotion there was and walked her through all her happiness’s and depressions for all the problems that came across. I bought her clothes, toys, school stuff, watched her programs, was there for her proud accomplishments, explained what it was to become a woman, and so many other things I can’t even count. So I was mom right? Well, my baby girl just moved out with her father to their whole new BETTER life than with me. Tear… sob… tear… sniffle… I’m dealing… we are dealing….

My wonderful boys are really going through some changes to figure out how to handle this situation. Their leader is gone! Their little miss know it all is gone! The sister, friend, cousin, or whatever her name may carry has left the building. Boy can you tell!!! They are raising hell all over again!!! They have to adjust to a new babysitter, new rules, new living situation, and now new work schedule since my lady is working 6 days a week at two jobs and I’m 5 days a week with one job. Then we try to squeeze in appointments in the morning and free food trips once a week when we can. We are losing out tremendously with this new change. I do hope however that contact remains between us since people have a habit of lost contact with our family because they moved. Phone calls go down… visits stop… and well family events are no longer.

Well, I guess that means back to selling, rearranging, cleaning, and throwing things out… time to prepare for the summer even if it’s just the 7 of us now. Hopefully here before too long… my awesome tooth will be healed from being pulled, I will stop coughing up nastiness, and me and my lovely lady will have some quality time… here’s to hoping for a new beginning to an old fairytale.