My Miracle Happens to be…

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 Every minute of every day somewhere in the world, a new miracle is born. The day I almost died, someone or something gave me mine. It started when I discovered my pregnancy of my second child a preemie. I got pregnant in October and from then on it looked like an ordinary pregnancy. I went through the common stresses a new mom goes through worrying about the crib, blankets, bottles, formula, and other necessities you need with a new baby. 

 

At the time I was also fighting for custody of my first-born son whom had gotten kidnapped from me by his father. During the pregnancy I was in verbal battles most of the time which caused many tensions at home. This point in my life became a great amount of challenges for me and my family.

 

My depression came and went many times throughout the days and sometimes very abruptly. I finally began going to a counselor who diagnosed me with PTSD resulting from my prior marriage. However, in the end, none of this was helpful. I still cried from all of the emotional and physical pain, the stresses, and of course the exhaustion from everything I dealt with in the mean time.

 

Right toward the middle of my pregnancy, everything must have finally caught up considering the pre-term labor that I suddenly came face to face with. Of course all the usual took place including the emergency bag, overnight clothes, and hospital trip. Within a couple of hours of time and many great doctors, my labor had finally ceased. I was given specific instructions for the ease of my thoughts to keep rested, drink plenty of fluids, and my baby would be just fine.

 

It was about two weeks later, when I collapsed in the middle of the floor of our living room. Once again I was rushed to the hospital for emergency care. It was later discovered that it only took a few minutes for me to experience a full body UTI. For a couple of days my temperature stayed at 108 degrees. The shivers set in from the ice packs that were placed around me and my stomach ached from no food. When my temperature eventually came down, the tender caring staff safely sent me to a warm comfortable environment I called home.

 

Just when I thought things were all good again and baby daddy and I were in the clear, I decided to move home to my mother’s house. There’s nothing like being six months along and so close to losing your child and then having your mother’s big open arms to fall back into. All my hopes, dreams, and, wishes came back to the light once again. 

 

I went back to my normal routine, but with a much more positive energy and outlook. I loved life and took great care of myself. I even kept my stresses to a minimum when I had the choice. Baby daddy was working full time and trying his best to get the time off of work for the birth of our beautiful baby boy.

 

All the donated baby things started flying in from various sources. Then one morning I had this enormous amount of abdominal pain emerge from out of nowhere. It was so severe that I actually went into deep denial of what I deliberated it could be. I tried to eat, drink, walk, or anything else I could think of just to make it at least calm down.

 

After about an hour of this torture to myself, I made a desperate crying phone call to a friend of mine and told her what was going on. Being a nurse she told me to calmly wake daddy and have him

drive me to the ER as soon as possible. Honestly the rest became a blur after the meds, needles, and ambulance ride. Within the next 24 hours, I was rushed to the Children’s Devos Hospital in Grand Rapids with severe preeclampsia. Many months later I was informed that each of my family members were given the most difficult choice of their lives. They were told to decide between me and my unborn for survival. Even when clearly informed of the odds, they still selected me. 

Every family has their own experiences and attitudes about miracles, but I never had a reason to consider this in my life. I realized in that specific moment of that particular day, this one was mine. My kiss of fatality not only saved my life, but made all the violence I experienced quite futile. I was warned prior I would never bare a child again. Yet a blessing came within my reach. Now each time things appear too intense; all I have to do is remember the miracle that was given to me.

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