A Different Kind of Mother’s Day!!!

 

English: Mother's Day card
English: Mother’s Day card (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

 

 

I must have done a rain dance somewhere and messed it up, cause now it’s snowing real heavy here!!! LOL!!!

 

So my partner and I have received the best gifts in the world last night. What wonderful holiday do we have coming about in our lovely community? Mother’s Day! Well our two youngest were very sure to make our Mother’s Day as awesome and memorable as possible. We got a beautifully crafted purple flower pen and a very creative growing flower card from one boy. Then we got a little purse book with his words of wisdom and what he loves about his moms from the other boy. Both boys wanted to make sure we both saw them and opened them together. Awe.. What a moment to just sit back and love every thing life has come to. Yeah there are always those times you kind of wished wouldn’t have happened or those people you kind of wished you didn’t meet, but I tell you what.. it all becomes completely worth it when you can sit back and enjoy the innocent childhood sparkle that comes from a young one’s eyes as he hands over his hard-working gifts of love to you on your special day. 

 

 

The best part was our youngest is getting a real knack for “both” his moms in his life. He’s always asking mom when is mom coming home? He comes across with, “Mom don’t forget to tell mom what I said”. It’s so adorable! He has total trust and love in his new-found family and he’s only going on 6 years old. At one point, I was slightly worried about his opinion of things (not that I wanted to sway him), but he came to me and my partner and said he learned in school that a girl can’t be with a girl or they will get into trouble. Well, obviously this wasn’t going to fly since we were both together and now in his eyes this would get me in trouble. So I asked the other kids about the comment and to my further understanding … they never heard of such coming from the teachers. So was this a confusion thing coming from this 5-year-old? Was he in detriment over his father not being around and just didn’t know how to handle it? Was it just a misunderstanding from some comment made by a friend or kid at school? 

 

 

Well I did end up talking to his teacher about it and let me tell you what… I’ve not seen a teacher jump to a seriousness of such a subject in my life. She was appalled that he would even say that and made sure to let us know that she was not in any way talking or teaching about anything like that. The eye to eye contact and the complete sentences with no stuttering told me she was telling the truth. She in fact stated that she had no problem or prejudice with his two moms and didn’t see why he would come out with something like that when he had two very caring and loving parents regardless and that was very clear and evident. Wow! What a compliment for this day and age! We were being looked at as two wonderfully caring, providing, and loving individuals with three wonderfully raised boys, not just two lesbos with a hormone off balance who lost their way to a good man. It was so nice to know even though we struggle on a daily basis to fight off the prejudice and comments and stares and judgments for our struggling family, there was support out there that we didn’t even know about. She even told us that she would keep a look out for any weird or suspicious comments or conversations going on about the subject between him and any adults or classmates. Then she would notify us immediately. 

 

 

What a wonderful thing to say and do! How great it felt to be complimented and supported even though we weren’t exactly thought of as the “right” parents for our children. You see, we all have our lives and only we know what we’ve done said or otherwise. Only we know for ourselves who’s to blame for whatever happened in our lives, but as long as we can own that and take responsibility for our children and show them they are loved no matter what? We’ve won half the battle. It a real mental struggle to raise your children in today’s world with your family values and beliefs when the world is telling them a whole different story everyday they walk out that door. It’s hard to keep the bad words, movies, and influences away when they come home with phrases and beliefs or movie credits from some “older” kids at school. To actually have a teacher and principal sit us down and smile at us and tell us how rare it is to have such caring and understanding parents who are actually involved in their children’s lives. To actually be looked in the eyes and whispered they’ve seen straight couples that have half as many kids who don’t seem to care enough to even sign paperwork let alone show up to parent teacher conferences.

 

 

Our middle child loves us both and makes it clear with his hugs and kisses all the time that he loves us and accepts us as “one”. He has his heart in the right spot when he accidentally shouts “Mother” when he’s trying to talk to me and then blushes with embarrassment when he realizes what he just said. He keeps telling us when you two actually get married, I will have two moms for real. “I can’t wait” he says. He always smiles and looks forward to both moms seeing his schoolwork and achievements. Always waits for the second mom to come home or have a day off since he knows he gets his loveys all over again. He loves having us have separate days off cause he says he has better days when he get to have hugs from both of us. Lol. He’s so innocent and sweet and doesn’t have a worry in the world that his two moms have days off separate because one of us is losing their hours quickly. He tells me he wishes this could happen all the time. Bless his heart and ignorance. 

 

 

The oldest of our three is so excited to just have someone he can count on to love and support him, he just doesn’t know what to do with himself half the time. He’s very lovely and I say that with the depth of my heart and soul. We accept him in is “difference” of the world and he accepts us and loves us in our “difference” of the world. Although, being the oldest he really doesn’t understand the world around him. He doesn’t get why we get the looks and comments that we do. He says he has two moms very very proudly!!! He tells anyone and everyone whether they want to know or whether they don’t. He smiles proudly and states very high that he’s proud that he has two moms, because some kids don’t even have their parents or have one. What a thing to come from a child’s mouth. What a thing for someone so young to realize and comprehend at such an age of innocence. We think our kids are dumb sometimes or forget that they are always listening. Our three boys remind us all the time that they hear us just fine and that they learn from our words and actions all the time.

 

 

It’s us who set their world and their language. It’s us who give them their boundaries and lessons. It’s us who wake up everyday with a new way to teach our kids something we feel is pertinent or detrimental to their well-being. We as mothers got to go through the 9 months to carry our children. We as mothers got to feed and nurture our children when they finally showed their tears to this wide open world. We as mothers are the ones who share our bosom with our children to connect with them in a way that’s not only healthy but proves intellect like no other can. We as mothers watch our boys and girls grow up day by day always wondering if we said the right things or did the right things when the right moment was there to say or do it for our children. We as mothers read the books, research the websites, listen to the tapes, watch the movies, and still don’t have a freaking clue as to what we are doing in the end for our children. We as mothers get that maternal feeling when our children are happy, sad, angry, mad, excited, confused, hurt, or anything else that goes through their precious little minds. We as mothers seem to understand our children on a deeper level than any outside influence that has come about. 

 

 

I’m not sure about your children, but mine always wanted mom when they didn’t feel well. “Mommy my tummy hurts”, “Mommy my throat hurts”, “Mommy I hurt my knee”, or “Mommy I missed you”. It’s them very powerful, outstanding, hardworking, passionate, thorough, open-minded, loving, and very withstanding mothers out there that make tomorrow special!!! It’s those cute little cards, songs, flowers, words, hugs, tears of joy, and little promises from our young ones that will always make tomorrow the best it will ever be!!! It’s that phone call that was answered and accepted in the middle of the night by our confused little soul that makes tomorrow special and memorable!!! It’s that love and tolerance that was given after that door was slammed when all those hurtful words were flung about my an extremely emotional child who just wanted to be heard and understood for once that will make tomorrow stand out from the rest of those days in the year!! 

 

 

I didn’t have the best childhood in the world. I didn’t have a mother at my side most of the time and when I did the intoxication was so strong it was hard to tell what was real and what wasn’t. The extreme guilt that came the morning after the abuse was always coupled with pop and candy or topped with a ride to town to pick out dinner on payday. The mother I had was raised in a very heartless compound that didn’t allow love or emotions and didn’t believe in children having a voice. She was taught things that no child should have to endure in ways that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. So when I look back and see my memories as slight as they are with the yelling, screaming, beating, kicking, or whatever else that came to my conclusion of love back then; I can honestly say I didn’t have a REAL childhood. I can say however that I am alive today, I am intelligent today, I have three beautiful boys today, I am a two times self published poet today, I have a house today, I have a car today, I have a wonderful dad today, I have the most amazing woman by my side today, and I still have a mother today. So in all the alcohol and abuse or confusion of parenting tactics that was taught to her by whomever was the responsible adult at the time, I was loved somewhere someway somehow. I was loved differently no doubt than most children in my day, but I was protected in her own way and loved in her own way and by golly I’m going to love her and respect her tomorrow IN MY OWN WAY!!!! 

 

 

Moms go through a lot in life and unfortunately most of us have to live and learn the hard way to come to appreciate what we had when we were the children; however I can honestly say I took what I was taught and turned it around. I made my life a lesson that will live with me the rest of my life and always reminds me what a great mom I can be and hopefully will be continually. There’s not enough time in the world to come back to our past and live and hate our regrets, so why not just love and appreciate our future and whomever that’s with? I know who my future is with. I know what I love and appreciate everyday. I know what I’m celebrating tomorrow… Do You???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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