Life of Luxury

776455-R1-015-6 (Photo credit: tbone_sandwich)

So the life of luxury remains in default as the work week continues and the relationships are mended one by one. The children are nestled quietly and carefully back to their school schedules and assignments and mom and mom slowly but surely attempt to get bills paid “again”. It’s been a real long two weeks trying to get everything to stay put and together and keep things going as they are supposed to and hopefully in the right mind. With no real day off for me and no real day off together for the both of us, challenges await and emotions start to rise. Thankfully we both have an open understanding of each others’ work schedules and even though completely tortured to not see each other and speak to each other every second of every day, we seem to get by with our car rides back and forth to work and an hour or so to eat together and try to cuddle.

Turns out our oldest is still in dire need of some counseling which as I had stated last time, isn’t happening due to constant canceling. Obviously I’m not the one doing this or it would be pointless to even mention it. I began to wonder if his counseling is really meant to be, since I feel everything happens for a reason and this reason seems to keep going no matter what we do. He isn’t exactly hitting anyone or anything, but he is having real issues with bullies and confidence of his abilities. We are trying the “Karate Kid” style confidence course. He’s got his military regimen and then his punching bag and now I have set him up with some after school tutoring after he gets home from his after school tutoring. Not sure what else to do at this point. I would love to say I’m a miracle mom and my partner follows my brain cells and together we make the world go around with our powerful rings or necklaces or even hugs or smiles, but unfortunately we don’t make the world go around. At least not for our oldest. We seem to become proud of one detail in his accomplishments and as soon as he gets a treat for it, he loses all other accomplishments. We are definitely at a loss at this point. I’ve even written the principle and talked to him about more special ed services if possible.

Our middle child is doing phenomenal in all that he does. He’s got great grades, attitude, compliments, and smiles. He went from full time trouble and medication to full-time special treats and off medication in like one year. I felt personally he didn’t need the medication. I knew all he needed was some well deserved love and proper attention. Viola!!! All is cured that the medication seemed to not be able to do. All someone had to do was stop putting him down, give him loveyz, compliment him every now and then (but mean it), and give him a minute of your time when he asks and be real when you say “I care what you are saying”. Wow!!! the things you can do to make a child happy when you really try. I’m so proud of him and I think “mother” is more than proud of her accomplished put down child. Boy did he show everyone how it was done!!!!

Younger children are awesome!! They are so awesome that you can always expect at least a handful of challenges from them. If it’s not jumping around when they aren’t supposed to, it’s going to be saying something they aren’t supposed to. Don’t forget the midnight snacks they sneak or the juice boxes you find under the bed that they claim they don’t have. If it wasn’t for the little drawings, cards, toys named after you, and books being read… it would be hard to believe it would all be worth it. Not that the bathroom drawings are all that bad, but they need to be done on paper and with crayon not on walls and with whatever he can “find”. Especially when little ones get mad, oh boy… then if they are highly intelligent… look out!!! You never know what is going to come of anything then. You think Dennis the Menace is bad? Think again! Our little one causes all kinds of ruckus and just when you think he’s become your best friend again and you can breathe…. watch your back…. there’s always a Weebit watching…. and he knows, reads, hears, and sees more than you think he does!!!!!

Well, I missed the year books this year and boy does that suck!!!!! However we did get our boys’ pictures before they disappeared. Now we have the joy of actually getting them handed out and up in frames. The funny thing is one set of grandparents don’t really know two of the boys anymore and don’t care to know one of them, but I’m used to the ghostly effect from them… so that doesn’t really bother me. The next set of grandparents are great with all three boys, but doesn’t keep pictures up and visible very long.. so it doesn’t seem worth it to really give large and in charge amounts of pictures to them. Especially since one of them don’t really care to even have me in the family, let alone any of my family. So being as I’m used to the whole “alienation” thing, I don’t really trip on this too much since all that really matters is “my family” with my lovely lady and our three boys. Yes, dad and grams and her boyfriend matter too! So then there’s the other set of grandparents… yes they have three sets. This set of grandparents loves each of the boys and shows it every chance they can. They hang pictures on the wall in pride and actually accept each of the boys as they are. Granted one of the boys is their “real” grand child, they are slowly showing a great effort to treat the other two the same in all ways.

Been working on my book as much as I can lately. It’s funny how you don’t really remember things until something triggers it. Then it’s like it all comes flooding back real fast in a moment and once again you almost feel the same emotions as you did back then and see the same things like they were. You don’t really know how much you really trust someone until there’s no choice, but to share the details of your past that could change everything they feel or think or even see about you. It’s been quite a journey so far relaying my life story day by day and chapter by chapter to later down the year have it published for the world to see. My heart pounds I swear like a million beat per second when I’m revealing some of these details that my partner will hear or find out. I’m always waiting for the one time that I get the look of “what?” if you know what I mean. So far she just smiles and give me the look of “reeeeeaaaaaallllly?!”. LOL!!!! I usually blush about that time. Especially when it dawns on me that she obviously didn’t know that about me and now she either has something to tease me about or just love me more.

I can’t say I expect her to completely accept and understand all that I’ve been through nor be completely kool with decisions I’ve made at whatever point in time that I made them or for whatever I made them for. Just like there’s some things she’s told me about her past that I am not 100% agreeable on, but that’s what a relationship is all about. Especially if you’ve both decided that you want to actually spend the rest of your lives together as we have made very clear to each other. It’s about communication and understanding. It’s about connections unlike any other. It’s about completely allowing the other into your world no matter what color or sound it makes or has in it. I love her for today, yesterday, and tomorrow regardless of what that consisted of or has a chance of being. I trust that she also loves me for the same. So do I have anything to worry about when this book is complete and she knows everything there is to know about me? I don’t feel there’s a chance of losing her; however I do think there will be some fuel for added future discussions. Even if she doesn’t agree with me, as long as she is open-minded and loves me anyway… that’s all I ask. As far as my audience… I’m not looking to be understood, accepted, or even believed by the details in the story. I do hope in some way shape or form however I touch someone’s life in a positive way by the strength of compassion I show and the strength of self resolution I’ve come to from all the challenges I’ve faced. I sincerely hope in some way that someone out there will pick up my book and come to tears of joy that they are or were not alone!

So now what? A really good long deserving REAL day off for all those who patiently waited! Ok, not all those who patiently waited, since I’m really the only one who’s patiently waiting, but the problem is.. it’s not really an awesome day off if I don’t get to see my family during that time. The plus side, I will see my boys and hopefully I will be able to work with our oldest on his online tutoring tomorrow. The down side is, I’m completely missing whole days of time with my love. That’s ok… there’s always the car rides back and forth to work. No!!! Not like that!!!! Hmmm… might be an idea though… oh honeyz….

Oh and I know I have some DQ calling my name… wonder if she hears it too? (evil grin)

Nothing like a good cold couple shots of DQ and cuddling up with your loveliness with a good movie or CSI or Criminal Minds or even Garfield…. lol… doesn’t matter as long as we are together in the end!!! I love you Violet!!!!!!!