Ok I have to say this whole prejudice against lesbians’ thing is really starting to get to me. Why does it matter if we are women who are together? Why does it matter if we sleep in the same bed? Why does it matter if we both decided we were at a point in our lives that we are going to raise three beautiful boys and that includes doctor’s appointments? Why does any of this matter? You were fine with it before! You had no problem with it the last time we were there and OMG… even slept in the same bed!
I got this wonderful phone call the other day checking on our middle child’s doctor appointment. It’s a sleep study so we have to stay over while they have him. Not a big deal. At least that’s what we thought. This phone call was to verify the appointment and who’s coming with the boy. I informed them very calmly that it was verified and there were two of us coming to the appointment again. Ok, did you get this? There were two of us coming to the appointment AGAIN!!!! The lady stuttered on the phone and asked who the parent was and who was coming. I informed her once again it was both of us and she was the parent. The lady followed with another stutter and tried to conform herself while stating that only one parent was needed since they didn’t know how much room they were going to have. I continued with the fact we sleep in the same bed. Once again she stuttered and attempted to regain with policy and only having one parent. I continued with we were doing this the same way AGAIN as the last time. Finally we silently agreed to disagree.
Well then today another phone call erupts to let us know once again it is against policy to have two parents at the same time in the same bed at these appointments. I continued once again that it was the second or third time we had done this and we knew what we were doing. I also continued with the fact that we were both parents, I worked late, and we only had one vehicle. So brain cells would commit to the fact that DUH… it would be smart to have both of us stay for the appointment. Then they continued with who was the REAL parent of the child. I claimed we both were the parents and we both were the parents the last two times as well. The phone was passed to a supervisor and the conversation concluded with “I guess if we have to”.
Wow!!!!! For real lady??? It’s not like we are going to bust out and have wall breaking sex at the appointment just because we are both staying in the same *gasp* bed. For one, we are adults last I checked… for two, we are on camera… (Hmmm kinky hospital camera sex… I think not!) For three, we are all leaving at 6am anyway… (Night owls on the premises)… so what’s the big deal??? Let me guess… because we are both women… we are likely to do something kinky and naughty in a hospital on camera with our son one open door room away… hmmm… I don’t smell prejudice or anything… The sad part is I informed her they had let us and my son’s dad and girlfriend stay over other appointments without a problem. Her words? Well I don’t know about them, but I do know what policy says and we can’t let you stay together here in the same bed…
So get this I hand the phone over to my partner… she responds that we are together and we sleep together all the time… so surprise a room is not the problem because we share the same bed either way… we are comfortable with this… once again the lady on the phone all “stupefied” lets us know that this is not supposed to be, but considering the one car circumstances she will let it go. Really? All this for a few hours to watch a child sleep? The verdict will be interesting in the next few hours to see if we have to cancel this appointment because we are not allowed to sleep in the same bed…
So on a brighter note… I love when everything seems so dark and disgusting in life and out of nowhere comes a point where nothing else matters but the moments of time together… This just happened to me! I would love to call this “Patch Adams” syndrome. I have so many things going wrong in my life and our family and it’s so hard to keep your head up when you feel that everything is pushing your head back under the water. I have bills piling up past my eyeballs, I have kids getting more and more medical issues, I have a father who refuses to take care of himself or his daughter anymore, I have a partner going into depression because her employments keep finding ways to cut her from society, I have a dog that hardly ever sees the outside of her cage anymore, I have a mother that only contacts me when she’s drunk or needs something from me, and I have letters from the IRS that tell me my x and I have funds due together since we were both together.
It’s real hard to look at anything bright in these moments, but when I sat down to a good game of Sequence with my partner, brother, grams, and her boyfriend and watched “Patch Adams” in the background… it was like all of a sudden all the darkness lifted for that moment. It was like all of a sudden it didn’t matter that the father of my children seems to not care anymore, or the bills are over filling, or dad seems to not care about life anymore, or anything of the sort. All of a sudden I was listening to Patch tell his story and how he helped others with their story and watching how he was taking each negative part of his day and finding light in it regardless of what happened or whoever said what. I watched how his eyes lit up with challenge, love, and curiosity whenever a new “patient” or person entered his life. I watched how these people became a part of his personal goal to brighten days and make people feel better regardless of their fate or health.
Sure I have reasons to be upset, but these people had REAL reasons to be upset with their life and Patch was able to get them to look past it even for a few moments a day to smile. While I was watching this in the background, I began to feel myself almost catch an over whelming need to smile and laugh and just have fun playing this game over and over with my family. It was like for a moment or so nothing mattered by the therapeutic voice of Patch in the background and the laughter of us five wonderful people in the room. It felt great to be a part of something so magical and real. I honestly don’t remember having one worry in my mind except maybe which card to play next. I watched as my lil-ol-me came out and just busted out with laughter, smiles, and comments to keep those others in the room smiling as well. I loved knowing that at that time, we all put everything aside to just relax and smile.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen “Patch Adams” from beginning to end, but the bit that I did see really made me want to watch it again and again and again just because it made my night and made me realize that life isn’t so bad after all.
I keep in mind that our world is a very changing place and all these things that are very apparent and extremely important today will still be here tomorrow, but for now I will focus on my “Patch Adams” syndrome and try to allow all the negativity to just drift on by.
- A Parents’ Primer on Patience (babyzone.com)
- Yea, Well I Can’t Watch This Anymore (godgoseonablinddatewithscience.wordpress.com)
- Staying on the Board (onlybiggerthinking.com)
- For the parents… (vandemom2.wordpress.com)
- on dating and not deriving (ispysomethingred.wordpress.com)
- Laughter is the Best Medicine: The Real Patch Adams (therapywithshannon.wordpress.com)
- Hunter “Patch” Adams~Gesundheit Institute – A NEW Kind of Medicine (bchq33.wordpress.com)
- Patch Adams (cendanawangi8.wordpress.com)
- Happy Heart Medicine: Part 1 (doctorisabel.com)
- Humour Therapy: Lighten Up (uzmaahmedkhan.wordpress.com)