So I had this awesome thought process today!! Well I guess you could say a couple of them… You know how they say, “you should learn to enjoy the finer things in life”? Well, I sat back today and realized I do very much so enjoy the finer things in life.
It starts with my dad. Ok so he’s not blood and wasn’t there at my birth, but boy he may as well have been. He knows better than any other family member I have. He totally loves me for me regardless of my brainiac ideas; solutions, thought processes, forgetfulness, and who knows what else is lurking in that dark spot up there. No matter what my decisions were or what my actions came to be, he was always supportive and either watched me fall on my face (silently laughing of course) or gave me a boost to a successful venture. I always feel like a little girl around him. It’s great to either kick it and watch a movie sharing a pint of McGillicuddys (spelled wrong lol) or drunk driving on a video game. Literally! We drink and drive hot ass cars!! Nothing like getting points for running over the mailman… lol…
So my dad is this grown ass man who is very stubborn and stuck in his ways. He doesn’t learn real easily but I suppose when you are pretty much forced to drop out of school around 7th or 8th grade from family situations… I suppose it gives you good merit to not carry a descent head on your shoulders. Regardless the man is my absolute rock and blessing! I couldn’t ask for a better dad all the way around. So when I get chances to make him happy, I usually jump on them “white on rice” and find whatever way is needed to execute. It’s been a minute since it happened, but I searched tooth and nail for 2 years to find his “long lost” mother. She left him when he was 7 I do believe and never seen him again until about 2 years ago. I am very persistent when there is something that I want. I wanted to give him the same joy that he gives me, so I went looking for his mother. All I had was a possible birthday and a possible spelling of a last name.
Well, I had enough of one things lead to other things and around 5000 dollars later in phone bills, I found her. Still alive and kicking and very excited to finally meet her son. It had been 48 years since they had seen or spoken to one another and it brought some serious tears in my eyes to feel and see the emotion that only comes from Hollywood. I was honestly worried it was going to give him a heart attack. Well now after a two visits to see her, he convinced her to come home to him. So Grams is moving in!! Yeah it’s another body or two in the house and sure it may get complicated at times, but I feel it’s the least I could do was to give him a mother since he gave me a dad.
The funniest thing in the world though I will tell you!!! Seeing a grown man of 52 jump up and down and turn into this little boy he never got to be when he speaks to or sees him mother. Don’t want to say no to a full grown open-minded speak your mind 78ish year old? Well he won’t be “misbehaving” anymore. LOL! Now to find out she’s moving home with him for her last days to be spent with the son she never got to be a part of? Wow!!! This is Hallmark all over again! The both turn into these little school kids laughing and smiling and acting like nothing in the world matters but them. It’s great!!! I have never seen dad this happy and I feel after everything he’s been through… he deserves it!!!
So my excitement remains to be ceased. There will be 4 generations in the house at the same time!! 5, 30, 52, 78 all spending Xmas together at the same time!!! That’s a once in a lifetime opportunity for real!!!! I’m very excited to see dad and his mother be able to spend so much time together and be able to have a real relationship that they were robbed of at his childhood.
I kind of feel where he’s coming from in a way. I never had a dad and barely had a mother. My mother was either working or drinking somewhere guys would buy her stuff. My dad left me when I was 4 I believe to follow “God’s” calling and then I seen him briefly on and off for a few years two weeks at a time. He never knew the real me and I when I tried showing him… I was knocked down with all kinds of bibles verses and words. So he was my father out of respect, but never my dad for real. I had my brother’s father and he was my “dad” for a while, but once I told him I was a lesbian… that was gone!
So I sort of feel him with his craving of having a relationship with his mother and I’m proud of him for putting forth the effort needed to be able to have one before either of them “walk on”.
Now the other thing that has me all giddy crazy today. Have you ever felt so in touch and in love with someone who all your weird goofiness comes out without you even trying? You do all the wrong things at the wrong time while with them and it’s all just cute and fully memorable? You go to kiss her and something from a previous moment pops in your head and you start laughing mid kiss? Then you both end up laughing or turning red from trying to hide the laugh that you both are trying to be serious from? How about having a serious conversations and being down right real and then suddenly one of you rips a deadly stinker and you do everything in your power to not show that humongous bubble of laughter you now have no control over in this very important conversation? Ok, here’s one… you are finally coming down from a long day of constant motion and you both get your comfys on and roll into bed ever so carefully and start your cuddle process, then while going in for some close intimacy… the cat starts licking your ticklish feel or manages to crawl up your pj’s and you have a fur ball creeping up your leg?
I notice the longer we are together, the more of these moments we have and the more of these moments there are to treasure! I have noticed these are the finer things in life. These are the reasons I look forward to another glorious moment with my partner, love, lady, best friend, confidant, and heart and soul. I notice the falling off of the bed when going in for a romantic unexpected hug more clearly and learn to appreciate its imperfection even more. How about trying to open the door for her and noticing it was the wrong door? How about going to cook a meal for her and getting so deeply involved in heart wrenching supportive conversation, the meal is forgotten and over heated or burned? Then there’s the huge excitement of something you just have to share and by the time you get it out of your mouth it’s completely messed up, said wrong, laughed about, and spoken backward.
All these moments and more have made me realize the finer things in life with my girl. I can’t say I’ve ever had this many moments at a time where I wish I could just say “pause” and let it all soak in. I mean she definitely has her little quirks, ocd moments, tweaks, and habits that pertain to weird or annoying, but I wouldn’t change a thing!!! I find myself looking forward to all the little moments and imperfections I can get my hands on when it comes to our time together. If we are ever-blessed with the ability to show our commitment to each other through a family loved ceremony, I wish for imperfection, careless moments, quirks, tweaks, giggles, stumbles, missed lines, obnoxious moments, and whatever else that can happen to bring two imperfect lives to such a great perfect beginning.
My finer things in life happen every day and they have nothing to do with being on time, wearing the right clothes, saying the right things, knowing exactly what to do, or even buying the right present. They have to do with all the opposite. It’s those moments that cause the giggle mid kiss. It’s those moments that cause the secondary wonder of a touch of gas when the cats walk by with their little motor running. It’s those moments that I fully 100% believe that brought us to our 1 year Anniversary this coming December 8th. I also believe it’s many more of those moments that will bring us to each year after that.
You never know what you have until you lose it, I lost my finer things in life once… I’m not doing it again!!!
- To Dance With My Father (reallifefantasies.wordpress.com)
- It’s about to be Father’s Day, but do I deserve to be celebrating? | Babble (babble.com)
- The Finer Things In Life (xsentrik.wordpress.com)