So I feel I’ve met my standards for myself in my sexuality finally. It’s so nice to wake up and know deep down that you are actually proud of yourself and how you handled what was tearing you apart for so long. To finally reach out and give a woman a hug and a kiss in such a deep sensual way that just makes sense. I’m so much happier to feel that awesome connection in a way that no one understands. It’s kind of interesting to see how people react when you just don’t freaking care anymore. It’s all about your family that you’ve created and about the relationship that your soul has craved for so long. When your inner self screams loud and proud to know that you finally recognize it for what it is instead of trying to pretend or make people believe something that’s not true.

I love the ability to open my eyes and enjoy my world in the reality that it finally is. For some reason, when I get on here and write it’s like I have so much to say that I can’t get any of it out. I try to focus and keep in mind all the emotions that are screaming to become apart of my literal sense and before I know it, I’m lost in the words and trying to make sense of what’s in my head in time for what’s real.

I sent out a package recently and it was one of the most important packages in my life. I took my original notebook that became a part of what my Lena Rai was about and sent every page to my number one fan. The joy that came out of his voice from honor was immense. I more than loved the shivering in his voice as well as the depth in his appreciation. It’s like his speechlessness drove my personal need to know more of what he brought to his own surface. I would love to know how many more times I can touch someone’s heart with something that I put down on paper.

Well I know before too long here, my first book is going off paper and will no longer be available. I plan on taking that book and adding it to my second book and then attempting to bring it together for a third part. I’m not sure how yet or why, but I feel it might be worth the energy.

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