Bring Out the Dildo

I have this real bad uncanny ability to get what I want and I was just released from that moment of glory a few minutes ago. You know how they say what’s meant to be will be and whatever happens has a reason? Well, I just posted a blog from all the anxieties, anger, and sorrowful frustrations that I have going on as I always do and low and behold, I did have about 3 more pages typed up. I went to copy and save to my blog as usual and for some reason it said it copied, but it didn’t. I know that was about the worst run on sentence out there and frankly I don’t care! I had 3 more pages of well written and thought out material that didn’t make it to the blog and I can’t find them anywhere. The funny thing is … for what they were about… they probably shouldn’t have made it to the blog. I have been sitting here asking myself if I should attempt to rewrite the entire thing or if I should just let it be.

The problem with my writing is it’s my release. Once I get it out, it’s gone. I only remember the subject it was on at this point and that is quickly fading too. It’s real frustrating to work on something and put so much into it and then POOF it’s gone! I feel lost and gone… forlorn… abandoned… hopeless…. Sad right?

Well, here’s my persistence at play… How can you be accepted fully at any family gathering or establishment when you can’t even lay a wet one on your partner? I’m not talking about tackling them to the ground and full body seduction or playing 10 minute tonsil hockey with them in front of all your family. I’m not talking about me putting my hands down her pants while everyone is sitting right there. I’m talking about a simple peck to the LIPS that says I love you in front of all the family. Whatever day it is that some “miracle” happens and we finally decide to HONESTLY get married, all the family and friends that have decided to join us will have to deal with the KISS after-all right?

Well we all have our customs and religions and points of interaction that we have decided on our own to relish in or relinquish from our lives. When I have to play silent footsie with my lady under the table to get any type of I love you action from her at the family’s home, it is really depressing. I respect my elders and I respect that everyone has their own lives and their own beliefs and their own ways of doing things. I totally get that! What I don’t get is why can’t people even attempt to respect our lives, beliefs, and ways of doing things? My kids have gotten over the royal view of two girls kissing, so it’s not such a novelty anymore. I know they would rather us kiss than fight. I just would love to know why our love toward each other as simple as it may be, is offensive to people when you know damn well that they have their own things they do or have done that are offensive to others and “they don’t care!”.

So what does it come to at family gatherings that we can actually make it to? Sitting opposite each other, walking opposite each other, make sure our hands don’t touch, little winks here and there for silent acknowledgement, and whatever other kind of sneakiness we can apply to our little evening of secrecy. Now if this is a full day, bet your ass I’m getting agitated that I can’t show my loveliness how I feel about her with out the looks or attitudes.

You want to talk about a real quick change in subject or walk to the bathroom? You know how it’s cute when a young couple talks about their first kiss or how long he lasted or her little shy reactions to his romantic gestures? Try that in front of a family gathering as lesbians. OH Wow!!! Simple stuff or jokes that were cute with a boy and a girl or a man and a woman …. now can’t be said or handled as two women. I did share some real “funny” or “cute” moments on my blog that I couldn’t have said to the family in some earlier posts.

One of the most embarrassing moments though I will tell you, is when a 73-year-old woman can look at you and say “now go get you some and be happy” with a smile and wonder why you are being so shy or dumb about it. I still can’t believe our sense of humor on the subject together is great and we can pretty much talk about anything on the subject. I know there are things that she wants to talk about, but she’s too shy or embarrassed to bring them up herself. I know there are things that I think of and don’t want to talk about that I’m more than shy and embarrassed to even think of let alone mention. We know there are things that are just meant to be kept to ourselves, but frankly if “normal” people can talk about getting laid, lasting for hours, and the faces or sounds she makes…. why is it so hard to see two women who are in love kiss?

Maybe next time I will just bring out the dildo that I don’t have and lay it on the table and ask so “who’s used one of these?” …. I might get a better reaction…. it is a male part for that matter…. lmmfao!!! The sad part…. I would probably do it if I had a tad bit of liquid courage… if they asked me what I brought that out for… I would probably say, “Ever heard of Pure Romance? I’m looking for it!”

About Lena Rai

Lena Rai is a lesbian of the LTBB Tribe who lives just under the Mackinaw Bridge. She lives with her partner going on two years and they both share 3 beautiful boys. Lena’s an established poet and an upcoming novelist. Her work has been published in The international Library of Poetry. She’s also had an award winning essay entitled, The Accomplishments of Gerald R. Ford as President of the United States for the Gerald R. Ford renaming ceremony in Grand Rapids, MI. She’s also the author of two self published books of poetry, “Voices Silently Speak” and “Whispering a Lady’s Secret”.

Posted on January 4, 2014, in Letters to Myself, Viewer Discretion Advised and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off.

Comments are closed.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 556 other followers

%d bloggers like this: